Well Intentioned Advice

My next door neighbors recently (four day ago) had their first little bee. It has been neat to witness these past few days of "firsts" with them. It is even nicer because I am not the one who is going through these "firsts," I am just merely witnessing them.

However, I do find it interesting to note all the friendly pieces of advice they are given, from in-laws, friends, and neighbors as to how to care for their new little one. I hope they remember that almost all the tips people have shared and will share with them as their little one grows are well intentioned. Most people are only trying to help. But, there will be the occasional few who just want to tell you how they did it because they think their way is the only right way.

I remember those first days of my first little bee's life with my roller coaster hormones, lack of sleep, and sore body. If my eyes had superhuman powers to incinerate everyone and their advice there might have been a few crispy deaths. It is hard as a new mom to not take advice as an insult to your parenting skills. Even the well intentioned ones can feel like a direct attack. But, if I could offer one more piece of advice to my dear neighbors and to any new mom for that matter, it would be this...

You have a bond with your child that no one else currently has. You know them better than anyone else and soon you will know their habits, likes/dislikes, and schedule like the back of your own hand. So, use your maternal instinct in all matters concerning your baby's health and well-being. If your baby is sleeping but you feel she needs to eat - feed her. If your baby is acting out of the normal and it has you worried - call the doctor or go to the emergency room. If your baby has been crying in her crib for the last twenty minutes and you want to hold her - hold her.

At this point in your little one's life you will be their voice, later you will not only be her advocate but also her champion and biggest fan. And as a wise mom once told me, "If you don't stand up for your children, who else will?"

So to wrap it up new moms, do what FEELS right. Books don't account for every circumstance and advice, even well intentioned advice, isn't always right.